You are not alone if you are going through this! A recent study in Child Development showed that 2- and 3-year-olds argue with their parents 20 to 25 times an hour!
Toddlers are hard wired to go through this developmental stage of learning about themselves. This is a healthy, normal, and and very necessary stage. They need to learn about themselves first, what they like, what they don't like, what their boundaries are, its part of their empowerment as autonomous individuals. They need to test it out with safe adults, that means you!
Sometimes we need to say NO, before we say yes.
So, how to deal with it?
- roll with it
- don't take them too seriously
- acknowledge their no. "I hear you, you don't want to put your pajamas on right now...What would you like to wear to bed?"
- keep your sense of humour: get them into giggle mode, be silly and make them smile or laugh, they will forget their NO.
- Tell your child what you want her to do rather than what you don't want her to do. Focus on what they can do!
- connect with them and try again...for a yes!
- give them choices.."Giving your toddler choices helps satisfy her need to feel in control. "do you want to wear your blue or green pajamas, or a paper bag ;)
Even though this can prove to be very challenging, it is something to be celebrated. Your toddler is individualizing! Coming into themselves!
Just repeat to yourself...."this too shall pass, this too shall pass....!".....